‘Letting your heart rule your head’

To me, I have always associated that saying, with when you think someone is making the wrong choice. I’m sure I’ve said it at times when I thought my friends shouldn’t continue in their current relationship, perhaps at times when I’ve thought someone should be going for a job closer to home to make their lives easier, or for more money. But because they ‘love’ their current one so much, they don’t want to move – so here it comes – ‘oh dear, they really are letting their heart rule their head’.

Judgmental? Probably (but with the best of intentions usually!). Wrong or right? Irrelevant really, because it’s just my thoughts and people will make their own choices anyway!

But one thing it does feel, is a little negative, to me anyway – what if actually, it is completely the right thing to do?

Does letting your heart rule your head make you a bit soft (and what’s wrong with that anyway?!). Should you really ‘toughen up’ and let your intellect rule?

How many times have we gone with our hearts, soul, gut instinct (or whichever label we choose to put on it) and it’s completely the best decision ever made! Equally, how many times have you made a decision based on what your head is telling you, ignoring that churning inside you – trying desperately to guide you and then wished you had listened?

I don’t personally feel it’s a question of right and wrong and hopefully, not any regrets either. We’ve all got to make choices on a daily basis and sometimes we’ll make them based on what our brains are telling us and sometimes we might feel guided by a different source.

Of course there are times when your brain is logically weighing things up, that’s natural and fine too, right? You know those times when you really want to go for something, but intellectually your brain is saying – ‘well, it didn’t work out the last time!’ But who knows what a limited life we might lead if we choose to not follow our hearts and take that chance! There’s a really lovely song that always pops into my head – the words of which are about avoiding pain, but in the process, missing out on all the wonderful bits, all the good, all the happiness on that part of the journey, if they hadn’t taken that chance and followed their hearts. It seems to me, if you choose to, you can find a positive in almost any decision ever made if the intention that led to it was a good one.

So where is this all going for me at the moment? Actually, it’s the EU Referendum. Far removed from all this soul/following your heart stuff? Maybe not, but I’ll get to that!

Before that, somewhere where it feels like it all made sense was at the National Hotel Marketing Conference. The morning session was about setting the scene for the conference – about authenticity, being true to your property or brand. There was conference notes about no gimmicks, because people see through that, people like to connect and people can only feel a connection to something when it’s genuine, honest and true – from the heart you might say.

It made me think. Do we love particular hotels because we can feel how much they are loved by the very people running them, bringing it to life daily for its guests? On the road, I often meet people who are working long hours, but out of the love they have for the hotel. It’s evident throughout, but more than that, there’s a feeling. There’s a natural, heart felt feeling that maybe all its loyal customers are connecting with. People everywhere, doing what they feel is right in that moment, for the happiness of others – an intent that doesn’t get much better!

So, I will finish up on that small issue of the referendum. I’ve been wrestling with this for weeks. Lots and lots of thoughts going through my mind; it’s hard to know where to start or what is best. My brain is working hard trying to absorb all the information around, trying to suss out what’s real from what’s just propaganda. But what’s my heart saying? On some level, do I already know what my decision is?

One way or another, no matter what the person’s view, everyone is just trying their best. If we can take that on, we maybe reach a place of tolerance and understanding – surely something that comes from the heart.

I just hope we follow our hearts and we achieve what’s ultimately right. But aren’t we lucky that we even get the chance to contribute to the decision in a democratic society. No matter the outcome, we are ultimately very lucky to have a voice and the chance to be heard.

Maybe when my head realises that my heart is the best guide, the two will become friends and it won’t be about which one wins.